childhood mem'rys

Am I watching Beauty and the Beast right now?
Did I ask for the DVD for Christmas?
Do I still relate to Belle and her love of books and slight nerdiness?

Yes, yes, and yes.

Watching this is making me think about all the movies I saw in theatres as a child, here's what I can remember...

Bambi
Land Before Time (probably one of my favs because it was just me and my Dad, because he was working a lot going to the movies just the two of us was really special)
Song of the South (got in trouble for running off to sit in the front row)
Fantasia
Beauty and the Beast
Oliver and Company
Beethoven
The Rescuers Down Under
The Lion King (right before 6th grade, I was obsessed and even made up a very crappy gymnastics routine to The Circle of Life"
Jurassic Park

We didn't see movies a lot, so this list might be fairly complete. Anyone else have fond memories of going to the movies as a child? What was your favorite theatre going experience as a kid.

Love me some Garfunkel and Oates

Doctor Who: A Christmas Carol - Christmas Special 2010 trailer - BBC One

My brain just exploded with awesomeness!

I'm mister 101

Claymation Classic

Fuuuuuudgeeee!

Olive, the Other Reindeer - We're not so bad

Some Favorite Christmas Specials

6 Days Away....

Christmas is coming up fast, and I can't quite get into the spirit. I think that I'll get there once I get back to Ohio and see the family it'll feel more real. Perhaps once I finish present shopping that will help too. I still have to buy for more than 1/2 my list. Yikes!!!

expressionism

Sometimes I need to find something silly that makes me happy.

Or do something that makes me happy:
1. Christkindle Market (pue Christmas spirit, and glogg)
2. Fix broken things (unclogged the bath tub)
3. Buy presents for those in need (all she wants is pajamas and a pink comforter, this breaks my heart)
4. Listen to children sing Christmas carols (a flood of memories from childhood)

Fa la la la laaa

Busy weekend!

Baby Shower

A play

Renegade!!!

and Christmas Tree decor

I am exhausted but it was wonderful, and a nice distraction from the usual seasonal mood issues. It hasn't gotten that bad yet, but the weather has just turned so I suspect that things could go downhill fast. I hate that I'm never really happy in the winter, and Christmas seems to make it worse. I wish I could figure out why the holidays makes me feel... sorrow I guess. Missing the joy of childhood, missing my family who has passed away, feeling like there is too much pain in the world to completely enjoy Christmas. Ug, I wish I could be normal

Golden Birthday!!!

28 on the 28th!

I was kind of sick this whole weekend, but I still had a great day. Yay Birthday!!!

29/30

Yay, got an A on my final paper for cross sector analysis!!! I was actually proud of this paper and I am hoping I can use it to work on my capstone project or my thesis. We'll see....

So, yet again we are losing another staff member, that would be five people (fired or quit) in the last year and a half, and 14 people in the last 3 1/2 years. In a department with an average of 10 people, that is fucked up. And, another fun thing, Greg, my coworker, who (bless him) is very positive and energetic, but not really good at his job, and he is making more money than me (which accept because he's been at the company longer than I have) but now he has a title that is above mine. I work my ass off and I do better work than he does.... Work fucking sucks

Super Week Approach-ith

Thanksgiving (awesome party time with friends and two days off work), black Friday shopping, and Golden Magical Birthday (aka 28 on the 28th) in one week!

Day 13: Movie that is a Guilty Pleasure

This is more of a nostalgic pleasure than a guilty pleasure, but I love me some Follow that Bird

Day 12: A Movie That You Hate

Catch Me if You Can. Overrated, overhyped, and very negative portrayals of women.

Day 11: A Movie that Changed Your Opinion about Something

I thought I could never like a movie with Mandy Moore

grad school

Introduction

The health care debate has been at the center of a political firestorm for more than a decade. The last three American presidents all used the health care debate as a central focus in their campaigning and policy making. While each individual approached the issue in a different manner the underlying cause of this debate was the fact that many Americans do not have access to a private insurance plans. Women are disproportionately affected by lack of access to health care, because they face the additional health costs and risks associated with sexual reproduction. Nearly 20 percent of American women of childbearing age, defined as 14-44 years, or approximately 1.24 million are uninsured (Johnson et al. 2008, S3). Due to the aforementioned gap in access, both the government and not-for-profit sectors are faced with the task of providing essential reproductive health services. While both sectors provide a variety of services, I will be focusing on the quality and availability of services provided through Medicaid and not-for-profit clinics. Is there a difference in the quality and availability of women’s reproductive health services, when comparing Medicaid facilities and not-for-profit clinics in the United States? There are a variety of factors that must be examined when evaluating quality and availability of care. I will examine proximity, affordability, perceived quality, and potential road blocks to care. While there is no singular ideal measurement or factor that allows for a definitive comparison, there are numerous studies that provide invaluable insight into the quality and availability of care offered by Medicaid and not-for-profit organizations.

Background

The terms “reproductive health”, “government support” and” not-for-profit organizations” can be interpreted in a variety of ways, and for the sake of this comparative review, I will narrow the definitions based on the data found in my research. “Women’s reproductive health care” refers to, but is not limited to, counseling and testing for STDs including HIV, testing for cervical cancer, access to contraceptives, access to abortive services, and pre and post natal care. “Government support” will only refer to Medicaid for comparative analysis, and will not include other health care services provided by the government. “Not-for-profit clinics” will refer to clinics that receive Title X funds, as well as clinics that do not receive tax payer support. In addition, I will not be making a differentiation between not-for- profit clinics that offer a full range of services and the organizations categorized as “crisis pregnancy centers” that do not. This is due to a lack of differentiation in the available literature and does not negate the fact that many “crisis pregnancy centers” do not provide accurate information to their clients or comprehensive reproductive health services (Kulezyeki 2007, 339).

Geographic Proximity of Available Care

The most basic component of accessing care is the physical proximity of the available services. The availability of not-for-profit clinics varies from state to state. There are 3,141 counties in the United States, and there are clinics that offer reproductive services in 84.5 percent of those counties. However, those numbers are skewed slightly by counties with low populations. Ninety-eight percent of all women who need to access to reproductive services live in a county that has at least one clinic (Frost et al. 2004, 213). While this may seem like access to care is widely available, these clinics do not offer a full range of reproductive health services. Only 20 percent of the counties in the United States have someone who can provide abortive services. Due to the small number of abortion providers, approximately one-fourth of women who are seeking these services must travel more than 50 miles to access care (Ely, et al 2010, 661). This statistical evidence indicates that abortive services are not widely accessible, but it also suggests that other clinics that offer women’s health services are readily available. The geographic proximity however, does not necessarily prove that clinics are truly accessible. There are a variety of other factors including county size, availability and affordability of transportation, and the women’s knowledge of the clinic’s existence. Women who are on Medicaid can therefore expect to have access that is as good, or better, than those women who rely solely on clinics for care, because there are additional facilities that accept Medicaid vouchers, that are not classified as not-for-profit clinics. These additional facilities increase the likelihood of proximity, accessibility by public or private transportation, and visibility in the community.

Affordability of Services

With soaring health care costs and stagnant wage increases, affordability plays a large role in accessibility of care. The costs of medications and services can prohibit women from taking advantage of reproductive services. Consider that one year of oral contraceptives can cost, on average 300 dollars, or 25 dollars per month, while five-year contraceptive implants can cost 500 dollars, which averages out to a little more than eight dollars a month, but it carries a much greater initial investment (King et al. 1997, 9). These costs can be prohibitive, especially for women who are not eligible for Medicaid vouchers. Some not-for-profit clinics offer care at reduced costs or a sliding scale based on income. On its website, the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, a not-for-profit clinic, offers gynecological exams for 35 to 250 dollars and birth control pills for 15 to 30 dollars a month. In addition, the website lists the cost of abortive services, both pharmacological and surgical, as ranging between 350 and 600 dollars (Planned Parenthood Federation of America). On the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services website, the costs of prescription drugs are listed as one to three dollar co-pay per month (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services). However, Medicaid offers no reimbursement of abortive health services, due to the passage of the Hyde Amendment, which prohibits the use of federal funding when obtaining abortive services (Gius 2007, 497).  Numbers alone do not indicate whether access to these services can be considered affordable; information on average salary must also be taken into account. The U.S. Department of Labor found that the median weekly income for women working full time was 657 dollars or 34,164 dollars per year, and that the median weekly income for women working less than 35 hours a week was 229 dollars or 11,908 dollars per year (U.S. Department of Labor). Reviewing these statistics, and calculating percentage costs by dividing the average monthly cost for birth control pills as 300 dollars by the median yearly salary, the cost of birth control would constitute .8 percent cost of total yearly salary for those women working full time, and a 2.5 percent cost of total yearly salary for those women working part time. While this certainly does not constitute a large percentage of salary, given the high costs of housing, food, and transportation, even the seemingly small percentage costs of access to birth control could be prohibitive. Given these statistics and the available research, it is difficult to come to a solid conclusion regarding the affordability of women’s reproductive services at not-for-profit and Medicaid clinics. While the Medicaid reimbursement certainly makes prescription coverage more affordable, the lack of coverage for other services, including abortion and treatments for infertility, can negate the positive impact of reduced prescription coverage. The sliding scale payment options at not-for-profit clinics could make various services more affordable, but if the cost of living is too high, even reduced cost care could be out of reach.

Quality of Care

The first factor that relates to the quality of care is the quality of services offered as compared to national medical standards and practices. All the data I was able to locate on comparative quality of care combines not-for-profit clinics with Medicaid vouchers, and then compares the quality of those services to private entities. Looking at survey data, the quality of care is largely determined by tests and services offered. When comparing those clinics that are public, to those that are private, researchers found that while the majority of both private and public clinics offered services such as pap tests, birth control counseling and prescription, STI and STD testing, the private clinics were more likely than the publicly funded clinics to offer the more accurate liquid pap test, at a rate of 47 percent versus 13-17 percent (Dubenstein et al. 2006, 141). However, clients at public clinics (encompassing both Medicaid and not-for-profit clinics) were more likely to receive contraceptive services, and counseling on STDs, including HIV, than those clients at the private clinics (Frost 2007, 1816). These differences can occur for a variety of reasons. Cost can affect the availability of newer and more advanced testing services. The lower rate of liquid pap tests at the public clinics could be a result of the increased cost of the test. Another factor that can affect availability of service could be client demand. The higher rates of receipt of contraceptive services, and counseling on STDs, including HIV at public clinics, could reflect the fact that the clients at public clinics are in a higher risk group than the clients at private institutions. The lack of comparative data between those receiving care through Medicaid and those receiving care through not-for-profit clinics, without government assistance, reveals a gap in current research. The two services are divergent and it could skew important health services statistics to ignore the potential differences between those who receive Medicaid vouchers and those who do not. It appears that additional research in this area could provide a clearer picture as to quality of care.

The second, and equally important factor when considering quality of care, is how the client perceives the quality of services offered. Again, I found a lack of data that compares Medicaid consumers to those who utilize not-for-profit clinics. Most of the research focuses on client perceptions of reproductive health care services without much differentiation between private, not-for-profit, and Medicaid sources. Communication is an extremely important factor in health care. If the client does not understand the medical information the physician or medical provider is sharing, they are less likely to follow directions and thus less likely to receive the optimal level of care. Based on general surveys that were distributed in 2002, nine percent of women who were pregnant reported that they were dissatisfied overall with their health care, while 16.2 percent of non-pregnant women reported dissatisfaction. The clients report the greatest level of dissatisfaction when it comes to the amount of time they spend with their health care provider. 16.9 percent of women who were pregnant reported that providers “sometimes or never spent enough time with them” and 18.6 percent of non-pregnant women had the same complaint (Ebrahim et al. 2009, 200). While this information gives a general idea of client satisfaction, it lacks detail based on provider type. In other studies, researchers generally found that public clinics and hospitals received lower quality ratings, while private doctors and hospitals tended to receive the highest quality ratings. Female providers received higher quality ratings than male providers, and non medical doctor (MD) providers received higher quality ratings that MDs (Becker et al. 2007, 209). The findings in these surveys make sense, because those facilities with fewer resources, such as not-for-profit public clinics and hospitals, are less likely to be able to provide the services that private hospitals with greater resources can provide. It would appear that both women who utilize Medicaid and not-for-profit clinics can expect to experience greater dissatisfaction and lower quality of care than those women who utilize private reproductive health resources. Additional research is needed not only in client satisfaction with all reproductive health services, but especially those clients who utilize clinics that are not-for-profit or accept Medicaid. Having a clearer idea of client satisfaction, would allow for greater understanding when examining utilization and effectiveness of reproductive health care services.

Medicaid Roadblocks

There are several different factors that might prevent a woman from accessing reproductive health care through the Medicaid system. A lack of understanding when it comes to the requirements and the application process for Medicaid could prevent eligible women from accessing benefits. Eligibility for program access is not only based on income, but other factors: “These may include your age, whether you are pregnant, disabled, blind, or aged; your income and resources (like bank accounts, real property, or other items that can be sold for cash); and whether you are a U.S. citizen or a lawfully admitted immigrant. The rules for counting your income and resources vary from state to state and from group to group” (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services 2). Therefore, if you were a woman, with a lower income, who had difficulty paying your medical expenses, you would not automatically qualify for coverage under Medicaid. In addition, if you were a woman who qualified for Medicaid in one state, and you moved to another state, you would not necessarily still qualify for aid. These complicated rules regarding eligibility could easily discourage someone from applying for Medicaid, especially if there were other factors involved, including educational background, English language proficiency, and general knowledge of government aide. A complicated set of rules for qualification can stop women from applying for Medicaid. The application process itself may also affect the likelihood that a woman would obtain Medicaid and thus have access to reproductive health services. Medicaid requires that all potential recipients go through an application process, and provide proof of eligibility. This process takes time, and requires that the recipient either go to a specified office to fill out the paperwork, fill out an application online, or fill out an application at a point of care clinic in cases of urgent care (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services 2). If a woman had a job that would not allow her to take time off, did not have internet access at home, or had children, it could be difficult for her to complete the application process. If a woman were eligible, and was able to complete the application process, there are still potential road blocks to receiving care. Not all medical facilities accept Medicaid, so even if there is a women’s reproductive health provider in the area, a woman on Medicaid might have to travel farther to access a Medicaid eligible provider.

Medicaid does not automatically cover all costs or all services associated with women’s reproductive health services. Co-pay is often required for medications, such as birth control pills, and services, such as routine gynecological exams. If a Medicaid client is unable to pay for these services, this could deter a visit to the care provider. There are also certain services that are prohibited to be covered by Medicaid funds. Medicaid has placed bans on funding for both abortion and infertility treatments. Medicaid specifically prohibits clients from obtaining abortions using Medicaid, unless they are the victim of rape or incest, or if going through labor presents a danger to the woman’s health. These rules, along with state mandates regarding bans on partial birth abortions, have been found to have a “significant negative impact” on the number of abortions performed in the United States (Gius 2007, 498).

Political changes can also cause road blocks for woman accessing care through Medicaid. Expansions in Medicaid funding have been, for the most part, at the discretion of an individual state. Individual states can apply for a federal waiver, and once that waiver has been approved, the federal government will reimburse the cost to the state, up to 90 percent (Sonfield, et al 2008, 3). That means that each state chooses to allocate resources to Medicaid based family planning services, and some states allocate more resources than others. These changes can be based on financial constraints, but it is also likely that they reflect the political beliefs of those in power. Many of the states that do not provide expanded services are those that can be considered more conservative politically. These states include Georgia, Tennessee, Ohio, Montana, and South Dakota, among others (Sonfield, et al 2008, 4). Women who live in states without expanded services can find that they are not eligible for services that they can qualify for in other states and can therefore expect to receive fewer services. Because the power to allocate resources lies in the hands of elected officials, it can be assumed that as political power shifts and policy changes, so too can allocations to Medicaid. Thus, changes made to allocations can have both a positive and a negative impact on those women seeking reproductive health services through Medicaid.

Not-for-profit Clinic Roadblocks

Women who utilize not-for-profit clinics for reproductive health services also face certain roadblocks when accessing care. In addition to previously discussed issues related to accessibility and cost, there are other factors that can affect a woman’s choice to utilize a not-for-profit clinic. Studies have shown that over the last ten years, there has been a great amount of turnover in not-for-profit clinics. While the number of available clinics has remained relatively stable, there has been an effort to consolidate some services, and clinics come and go based on funding, client base, and other factors (Frost et al. 2004, 214). These changes can create instability for women seeking care. If the clinic they use closes, they may not feel comfortable going to another clinic, or the quality of care may drop due to a lack of continuity in service providers.

State mandated laws can also create difficulty for women attempting to utilize not for profit clinics specifically for abortive services. In 32 states female patients under the age of 17 are required to obtain parental consent before obtaining pharmacological or surgical abortions. While 28 of the 32 states allow for judicial intervention that allows for access without parental consent, the consent laws can cause delay or denial of services (Ely, et al 2010, 662). In addition to parental consent laws, there are other laws on the books that can also delay or effectively deny access to care. There are thirty-two states that require counseling and twenty-four states require a twenty-four hour waiting period, before a woman can receive abortive services (Ely, et al 2010, 665). The state mandated counseling can create a roadblock to care, because it is not necessarily created or provided by an objective individual. If the counselor provides biased information, or presents the counseling in a manner that promotes fear or guilt, they could create a situation where care is essentially blocked. The twenty four hour waiting period can also cause roadblocks to care. Earlier, it was noted that one fourth of women have to travel more than fifty miles to access a clinic that offers abortive services. If any woman has to make more than one trip to a clinic, it is likely to result in increased transportation expenses and loss of wages, particularly for those women who have to travel greater distances. The additional expenses associated with the mandatory waiting periods could create a situation where access to services at not for profit clinics become unavailable for women with limited financial resources.

Another factor that may negatively affect access to care is more difficult to quantify. I was unable to find any research related to the affects of protesters and access to care but, it is possible that there is a negative correlation. Some not-for-profit clinics face protests and acts of violence, such as bomb threats, bombings, personal attacks on physicians and threats of personal harm to all staff, for providing abortive health services to women. In addition to these threats of violence, there are also groups that protest outside of clinics that provide reproductive health services. It is possible that the history of violent attacks, verbal threats and the physical presence of protestors outside of not-for-profit clinics have a negative influence on women accessing care. This is an area that requires more research, to make any determination as to the possible effects that protesters may have on access to not for profit clinics.

Conclusions

There are numerous factors that can affect access to women’s reproductive health services, for women utilizing both Medicaid and not-for-profit clinics. Those women using Medicaid face limited access, complicated and confusing application processes, and changes in service based on political policies. Women who utilize not-for-profit clinics face challenges due to financial limitations, physical proximity, and the instability that can be inherent in the not-for-profit arena. In addition to the easily quantifiable factors listed above, there are social and political factors that can also affect perceptions of healthcare, government services, and reproductive health. Government policies regarding not only reproductive health services, but sex education, and international outreach can affect our perception of sexuality and reproduction. Social factors, like education, race, religion, can also impact the utilization of various reproductive health services.

I believe that more research needs to be done to reach a conclusion in regards to which sector provides better women’s reproductive health services. In much of the current research there is little to no differentiation between services provided by not-for-profit clinics and services provided by Medicaid. It seems that much of the research that has occurred up to this point focuses on the difference between private and public healthcare. While this research has been invaluable in providing information that has improved advocacy for those women without health insurance, it has not shed light on the more subtle differences between government and not-for-profit care. Perhaps because there is so much overlap in these areas, for example: not-for-profit clinics receive federal funding and Medicaid patients are seen at not-for-profit clinics, no one has seen the need to research the outcomes separately. However, I believe that investigating these services would provide valuable insight into quality of care. The government and not-for-profit sectors could learn from each other, and improve partnerships to provide better health care for all women. 

References Cited

Becker, Davida, Michael A. Koenig, Young Mi Kim, Kathleen Cardona, Freya L.

Sonenstein. 2007. The quality of family planning services in the United States: Findings from a literature review. Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health 39: 206-215.

Duberstein-Lindberg, Laura, Jennifer J. Frost, Caroline Sten, Cynthia Dailard. 2006. Provision of contraceptive and related services by publicly funded family planning clinics, 2003. Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health 38: 139-147.

Ebrahim, Shahul H., John E Anderson, Rosaly Correa-de-Araujo, Samuel F. Posner, Hani K. Atrash. 2009. Overcoming social and health inequalities among US women of reproductive age- Challenges to the nation’s health in the 21^st century. Health Policy 90: 196-205.

Ely, Gretchen, Catherine N. Dulmus. 2010. Abortion policy and vulnerable women in the United States: A call for social work policy practice. Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment 20: 658-671.

Frost, Jennifer J. 2008. Trends in US women’s use of sexual and reproductive health care services, 1995-2002. American Journal of Public Health 98: 1814-1817.

Frost, Jennifer J., Lori Frohwirth, Alison Purcell. 2004. The availability and use of publicly funded family planning clinics: US trends, 1994-2001. Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health 36: 206-215.

Gius, Mark Paul. 2007. The impact of provider availability and legal restrictions on the demand for abortions by young women. The Social Science Journal 44: 495-506.

Johnson, Kay, Hani Atrash, Alison Johnson. 2008. Policy and finance for preconception care: Opportunities for today and the future. Women’s Health Issues 18S: S2-S9.

King, Leslie, Madonna Harrington Meyer. 1997. The politics of reproductive benefits: U.S. insurance coverage of contraceptive and infertility treatments. Gender and Society 11: 8-30.

Kulczycki, Andrew. 2007. Ethics, ideology, and reproductive health policy in the United States. Studies in Family Planning 38: 333-351.

Planned Parenthood. Sexual health topics.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/index.htm

Sonfield, Adam, Casey Alrich, Rachel Benson Gold. 2008. State government innovation in the design and implementation of Medicaid family planning expansions. Guttmacher Institute: 1-28.

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. State Medicaid Prescription Reimbursement Information by quarter, September 2010.

http://www.cms.gov/Reimbursement/Downloads/reimbursementchart3q2010.pdf

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. Are you Eligible?

http://www.cms.gov/MedicaidEligibility/01_Overview.asp#TopOfPage

U.S Department of Labor. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Highlights of Women’s Earnings in 2009.

http://www.bls.gov/cps/cpswom2009.pdf

Day 10: Favorite Classic Movie

Marlon Brando = pure sex,  raw talent
Vivien Leigh = delicate, fragile,
Kim Hunter = dejected, nuanced
Karl Madden = everyman, beat down true life

Day 9: Best Soundtrack

Ok, so I could also post Moulin Rouge, The Wiz, Singing in the Rain, Hedwig and The Angry Inch... I went with this one for nostalgic reasons

Crafty Fun

Am I avoiding school work by doing crafts... yes, yes I am. Well I guess that making iron on transfer onesies that tie into the babies' names doesn't really count as being crafty, but I'm pretty proud of how they turned out. Beckett got a bowler hat, and Pippalotta got "most remarkable". Personal gift time 10 minutes! I also plan on doing some crafty things for Christmas, here's hoping that I have time to do what I want to do!!!

Day 8: A Movie You've Seen Countless Times

The Muppet Movie
Jim Henson + Classic Hollywood cameos + Puns galore = Best Muppet Movie ever!

Day 07 - The most surprising plot twist or ending

Damn, Kevin Spacey is in some twisty ending movies: I also contemplated The Usual Suspects and American Beauty, but had to go with The Life of David Gale

Day 6: Best Made for TV Movie

I never saw the Sci-Fi original Dinocroc vs Supergator, but come on... prehistoric giagantic reptiles wreaking havoc, stellar!

Cat vs Printer - The Translation

Back Home

Vacation was lovely. It was a bit cold for the beach, but we went anyway. We played, we relaxed, we enjoyed the beautiful wedding of my cousin.

Much needed rest

Real vacation, for the first time in over a year!!!!

I am ready to not check my email from home, to leave behind my blackberry, and to just spend time with my wonderful husband, and celebrate the marriage of my cousin. Too bad the taxi gets here tomorrow morning at 5:15am. Yikes!

Bonnie and Clyde 2010

Day 5: Favorite Love Story in a Movie

Even robots can fall in love :)

Vacation Time!!!

Going to Florida soon, totally looking forward to the following awesomeness:

   Beach

Turtles

Burt Reynolds Museum

     Fruity Drinks

Most Importantly... NO WORK!!!!!!

Day 4: A Movie That Makes You Sad

I had to go with a classic on this one. City Lights.

Other Top Sad Movie Choices:
Pan's Labyrinth
La Vita e bella
Schindler's List
Platoon
American History X
Brokeback Mountain
The Sandlot (I know strange but true)
The Notebook
Children of Men
Philidelphia
American Beauty
The Neverending Story

Day 3: A Movie that Makes You Really Happy

Love, Actually.

Always makes me happy, always makes me cry...

Sick

Ah, the joys of the first cold of the season. I missed two days of work this week, Monday and today. I hate missing work! Not that I don't love my days off, I just have so much going on right now, that missing even one day puts me too far behind, and there is so much going on right now.

Safari

There was once a king who had the finest ram in the world. When this ram happened to be grazing on Anansi's crops one day, Anansi threw a rock at it, hitting it between the eyes and killing it. Anansi knew that the king would punish him for what he had done to the prize ram, and he immediately schemed how to get out of the situation. Needless to say, Anansi resorted to trickery. Anansi sat under a tree to think of an escape when, all of a sudden, a nut fell and struck him on the head. Anansi immediately had an idea. First, he took the dead ram and tied it to the nut tree. Then he went to a spider and told it of a wonderful tree laden with nuts. The spider was delighted and immediately went to the tree. Anansi then went to the king and told him that the spider had evidently killed the prize ram; the ram was hanging from a tree where the spider was spinning webs. The king flew into a rage and demanded the death penalty for the spider. The king thanked Anansi and offered him a great reward. Anansi returned to the spider and warned it of the king's wrath, crying out to the whole world that the spider had killed the ram. The spider was very confused. Anansi told the spider to go to the king and plead for mercy, and perhaps the spider's life would be spared. Meanwhile, the king had gone home for lunch and told his wife what happened. The wife laughed and said, "Have you lost your mind? How on earth could a little spider make a thread strong enough to hold a ram? How in the world could that little spider hoist the ram up there? Don't you know, Anansi obviously killed your ram!" The king was angry that he had been deceived and told his court to fetch Anansi immediately. When the king's men came for him, Anansi assumed that it was to bring him to the palace for his reward for turning in the spider. So Anansi went along willingly. He walked into the palace as if he owned the place and then said to the king, "Well, what is my reward for the killer of your ram?" This enraged the king so much that he kicked Anansi, splitting him into many pieces; he was no longer a man, but a spider with long legs. 

Tee Hee!

Day 2: Most Underrated Movie

 It got great reviews but I don't think that many people saw it.

Another day in Arusha. One of the in-country trainers got sick today and had to go to the hospital. I was, of course, envisioning the worst scenario. I have a huge fear that one of our consultants will get really sick or injured or die when I'm on a trip. So of course that was immediately where my mind went. He was fine, he just needed oxygen (not sure why, didn't think it was appropriate to ask), thank goodness.

I think that my second training, which has really been 1/2 on my own, much like my first training, has been going well. So the next time I travel it will be without another staff person. Yikes. I do feel more confident when I don't have other staff members with me though. I feel like I can just be myself and take care of things, as opposed to feeling like I have to play a role that they expect me to take.

Feeling Good

1. Worked less than 12 hours today
2. Possible work drama avoided
3. Answered work emails
4. Did school work
5. Worked out
6. Scotch and Tangawizi

Taking a break from the 30 Day Song Challenge for... the 30 Day Movie Challenge, let's see where this takes us.

Day 1: Favorite Movie You Saw in the Last Year



Up! for this scene alone, which brought me and my hubby to tears

Wanderlust

I'm happy to say that I have a job that satisfies my need to travel. I usually get antsy if I don't get to go somewhere at least once a year. This trip has been difficult though. With school, work, difficult consultants, and missing my wediversary, it's been rough. I just got off the phone with R. and I feel really down. I guess I've been trying to avoid the fact that I am sad that I'm not with him today, and that sort of fell apart on our call. I have to do school work now and I'm just feeling stressed and sad. Blarg.

Safari Tomorrow!

 The first week of training went well. There were some long days and some obnoxious moments with some of the consultants, but otherwise it was nice.

Last night I had some of the most amazing Indian food at this little hole in the wall restaurant in downtown Arusha and the night before that was nyoma choma. So the delicious food at night is making up for the not so good food at our training venue. They serve lots of meat and rice, so I've been living on rice this week.

Tomorrow I am exploring Ngorongoro Crater with the consultants and Sunday I will be working on school work and attempting to rest.

Arusha

After lots of flying, and thankfully minimal small talk with other passengers, I made it in to Arusha last night at around 9:15pm. I think the most stressful part of the trip was the drive from Kilimanjaro to the hotel. There were some monster speed bumps, and we were on a dirt road for a while. But, despite the drive being a bit dicey, there is something about Africa that makes you feel relaxed. I don't know why, but I think it's a combination of the open spaces, and the smell (indescribable mix of fresh air, spices, and woodsmoke).

Today we went out to lunch and a craft market. I had perhaps the best, or at least the most unique veggie burger I've ever had. It was almost the texture of a moist falafel, and it had hints of cumin and curry. Yum!

The craft market was nice. I got a wedding present for my cousin who is getting married in November.I think that had I not been so jet lagged, and had some of the vendors not been so pushy I would have spent more time and money there. So perhaps it's a good thing I wasn't at the top of my shopping game.

Bon Voyage!

I know it's weird to say that when I'm the one leaving but I had a hard time coming up with a clever title. I still have a lot of work to do before the cab gets here at 1. 3 things for grad school, finish packing, and get showered and dressed. It's the grad school things that are really going to slow me down, that and the fact that I'm a nervous packer. Ah the joys of ADD.

Oh, I guess we get one last 30 day song challenge before I head out. When I was in Ethiopia I couldn't access blogger, so this might be the last one for a couple weeks.

Day 15: A Song That Describes You

Bajofondo - Pa' Bailar

Day 14: A Song That No One Would Expect You Like

Secret desire to be a tango dancer revealed

Lucky Day 13: A Song That is a Guilty Pleasure

Ah Journey, so cheesy, so simple, so awesome

A Song From a Band You Hate

I'm acually getting a little tired of the 30 day song challenge, and the negative tone of this day's challenge has inspired me to take the day off!

2 days until Tanzania. Yikes. I realized today that I have to bring along my 20 pound textbook, I was hoping to photocopy chapters, but with 9 chapters to cover during the two weeks I'm there, and two days left to go, I'm going to bite the bullet and bring it along.

Packing makes me long for the days of steamer trunks. Sure they were impractical and difficult to transport, but they had so much room. Packing business clothes, and training suppies, and all those other necessary items into 1 suitcase and 1 carry-on, is tricky. Speaking of which, I should be working on that....

A Song from Your Favorite Band

Day 10: A Song that You Can Fall Asleep To

Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah

Pakistan

Pakistan is experiencing the worst flooding in recorded history with more than 1,700 people dead and up to 5 million homeless. While 8 million need immediate humanitarian assistance, only 1.5 million have received it. Help is urgently needed!

https://secure.unicefusa.org/site/Donation2?df_id=8320&8320.donation=form1

https://my.care.org/site/Donation2?df_id=7760&7760.donation=landing&s_src=redgpakistanfloods7760splash&s_subsrc=pakistanthousands&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=pakistan%20flood%20relief&utm_content=thousandscare&utm_campaign=red7760splashpakistanfloodrelief

Day 9 A Song You Can Dance To

Electric Six, essential dance party music

A Song You Know All the Words To

I'll Cover You - Rent

This show made life seem better when I was in high school. I listened to it all the time.

Day 7: A Song That Reminds You of a Certain Event

A certain musical parody of a certain celebrity love triangle...

30 Day Song Challenge

Day 5: A Song That Reminds You of a Place

OLP: Dorms, Freshman year of college

Glee

In honor of the return of Glee, things that make me happy:

Cheese, kitties, Hubby's laugh, the color orange, smell of libraries, hardwood floors, fresh flowers, crafts, sleeping in, fireworks, travel, costumes, circuses, National Geographic, BBC, working, Neil Gaiman, vacation, coconut gelato, nicknames, singing out loud, babies, jumping in puddles, penguins, passion, Thanksgiving, not eating meat, a great new song, waking up and realizing I can sleep for another hour, the smell of gasoline, recycling, my family, hiking, free beer, passionate people, sweat pants, coffee, Christmas TV Specials, You Tube, Muppets, dancing, popcorn, chocolate in all it's lovely forms, craft fairs, my nephew's smile, dinosaurs, warm towels, Journey, the journey, weddings, coupons, people who believe in what they do, painting, Doctor Who, campfires, pickles, sunrises, character actors, caramel apples, blogs, taking pictures, people with accents, scary movies, google, grad school, heroes, people with good manners, farmers market, pay day, Felix (the only plant I own that I haven't killed), Mariocart, tiny frogs, cardigans, forgiveness, change, my kitty, the world

30 Day Song Challenge

Day 4: A Song That Reminds You of Someone

Ok, so this song reminds me of my family, we always listened to it on road trips when I was growing up.

The ice dance *Edward Scissorhands*

30 Day Song Challenge: A Song That Makes You Sad: oh this song it makes me cry every time

30 Day Song Challenge: A Song That Makes You Happy!

Oh, The Darkness. The song is upbeat and fun, the video is retro rediculousness. It reminds me of junior year in undergrad, which was the time I really was happy with myself.

30 Day Song Challenge

Day 2: Least Favorite Song

Iris, The Goo Goo Dolls. Mediocre song, overplayed to the point of nausea, and it was in City of Angels (horrid horrid movie)

Analysis

Current Assignment: Write a literature review for grad school that compares the effectiveness of two sectors (government, public, or private) in a given area of my choosing.

Original Subject for Literature Review: How do women's health services vary between public and private universities?

The Problem: Completely unable to find any relevant scholarly journals

The Verdict: Back to the drawing board, sigh

30 Day Song Challenge

Day 1: Your Favorite Song

The song we danced to for our first dance. Nerdy, sweet, and quirky.

Habari!

Tanzania in two weeks!

Starry Starry Night

"When you look up at the sky at night, since I'll be living on one of them, since I'll be laughing on one of them, for you, it'll be as if all the stars are laughing. You'll have stars that can laugh!"

                                                                                               -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Stand up

Don't close your eyes to the pain. Don't look away from the injustice. Open your eyes and open your mouth. Speak out against those who use hate and fear to manipulate. If you don't speak out, who will...

Tomorrow marks another year since the world trade center, the pentagon, and the field in Pennsylvania. Some people want to use this day to spread hate. Don't let them.

Turn your back to the ignorance, speak out against those who stereotype, those who believe what others say without thinking for themselves.

If you cannot speak out, act out. Spread love, not hate. Be kind to those around you. Don't let the memory of those who died nine years ago be one of sorrow, hate, or revenge... Hate breeds nothing but hate.

Flicker

To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out is a spark.

                                                                                                        Victor Hugo

Adventuring

We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.


Jawaharlal Nehru