Thanksgiving

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free 'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be, And when we find ourselves in the place just right, 'Twill be in the valley of love and delight


Thankful to have found my valley, to have an amazing family... not only the one I was lucky to be born into, but the one that we have made with great friends over the years...


Thankful to have the opportunities I have to make a difference, to expand my knowledge

Thankful for all the love, challenges, and growth this year.

Wants

I want:
to finish my MS
babies
to make a difference
a house
to get a PhD
mostly I want babies, stupid hormones

October Madness

Leaving for Vegas on Tuesday morning for our annual meeting. I've put a lot of work into this so I'm excited but I'm also a little weirded out about Vegas itself. Legal prostitution and excessive spending... yikes.

I think that for the most part I'll be in the hotel/convention area, acting as a guide and liaison for our guests from Tanzania, and when I'm not doing that I'll be staffing the International Lounge, so I think that I'm going to have to be "on" for so much of the time that if I actually have any time for adventuring it will be late at night and I'll be too exhausted to do anything. I had hoped to venture out to see the Grand Canyon or the Hoover Dam, but right now it doesn't seem to be in the cards.   

I also purchased my Halloween costume. I found something non-slutty, woot! I was not going to purchase a costume because we don't really do anything for Halloween, but we received an email at work announcing a costume contest on the 31st, so I figured I should make some sort of effort. Last year I wore cat ears and a name tag that said "I can haz your soul"... very few people knew who basement cat was. This year I'm going as Mother Nature. I ordered a nifty green peasant dress and leafy headband online (both of which can be useful on their own). I'm excited!

Successful Week

A Week of Personal Victories Big and Small:
Finishing up yearly financial reports at work
Reconnecting with an old friend
Making an incredibly successful company wide presentation
Drinks and Laughs
Awesome puppet friend time

Goal Progress:
Healthy Meals Made at Home: Lunch x1 this week, Breakfast x4 this week, Dinner x2 this week
Work life balance (aka spending time not on work and school) x3

Small steps, slow and steady wins the race

Time to Take Care

I think that my vacation made me realize that I need to take better care of myself. I work full time including travel, I'm in grad school, I'm married, and I have to try to keep up with all the other adult responsibilities. I'm tired.

So, I realize that I need to make a concerted effort to keep healthy physically and emotionally. This means that I need to take some steps to live a balanced life.

First Step: Make a Schedule
1. Personal activities
2. 1 hour per day for school work
3. Make time for packing healthy lunches
4. Exercise

Looong week

So, between job scares for both genders in this marriage, it's been an interesting week.

Back in the states after Rwanda and Ireland... both amazing

Our vacation was actually relaxing, I didn't worry, which is completely un-natural for me. It was fantasitc!!

Now that we're back home I'm worrying about funding in 6 months and if congress is going to completely fuck us over. So I've been neck ddep in paperwork, conference calls, and school work, since we returned. Thats ok though because it's the life we chose.

Fall quarter started on Monday. I think that it's going to be a lot better that summer!! I have my favorite prof and the class has real world experience which should add a lot to our discussions.

Bonus of the week.. I might get to go to the annual meeting and hear Bill Clinton and more importantly Paul Farmer (!!!!!) speak. I'm waiting to hear if our counterparts are going to make it as that determines my eligibility but I'm keeping the hope

In Rwanda

I love that first moment, when I step off the plane and smell the fresh air. That moment makes the flights and stress all melt away. The realization that this is my third time in Rwanda in less than a year was kind of surreal. The first time I was so nervous because it was my first solo trip, I'm still a little nervous because I have some meetings with officials and there are some big funding changes, but it's much less stressful than it was back in January. Yay self confidence!

Weekend Fun

Researching the costs of prescription drug abuse without a prescriptionDetermining the costs of an electronic tracking systems for pharmacies in the United States
Comparing anti-drug campaign efficacy to other forms of prevention and treatment

Yup. It's been fun! I created 3 hypothetical federal budgets based on costs extrapolated from various sources. Now I just have to write a 20 page white paper before I leave for Ohio on Thursday. Womp womp.

I am exhausted and overwhelmed, but I think that this paper is going to be good.

I was a theatre major in a strange land

I was a theatre major in a strange land, a temp. Shuffled into whatever job that opened up. I worked a home improvement expo, a daycare, bartended and auditioned. It was another temp position; it was supposed to last a month…  Finance Assistant. Ok, I can do this.

The first day I walked in, the woman I was replacing told me everyone at the office was a liar. Everyone would sell me out. I smiled and nodded and told myself that it was a part of the plan.

Cut to…

THE PLAN: Move to Chicago, Be Charming, Get cast in every show, and then: Hollywood, movies, money, moderate fame, and of course, fulfillment.

Stick to the plan: that was how it started. I had no financial background. A theatre major with an (almost) psych minor. I had made budgets for shows, figured out how to live on cigarettes and fruit smoothies; in fact I frequently overdrew my checking account much to the chagrin of my extremely frugal parents. But now I was going to help out on a multi-million dollar poject

Juicing

I purchased a Breville Juicer the other week in an attempt to eat more vegetables (and fruit) and less processed foods. Today I made up my first recipe and it was pretty tasty...

Ingredients
1 tomato
1 crown broccoli
1/2 green pepper
4 carrots
1 stalk celery
1 scallion
1 clove garlic
3 tbs. Braggs Aminos

It all just goes into the juicer and out pops magical juice at the bottom! Yum

Getting Over It

Ok, so ever since the group LHS 10 year reunion popped up on Facebook I have been having nightmares about the reunion. I finally had enough, I'm ready to get over it, realize that it doesn't matter. So I bought two tickets to the Wood for August 11. Yes, I'm dragging R to the reunion, because that's why you get married... to have someone who is there to support you to love you, and to deal with your neurotic tendencies :) I'm going, I'm getting over the strange feelings of inadequacy, and then it's over. I'm moving on. And in honor of this, me at 16, in all my awkward, horrid glory...

Coming Together

Plans for our trip are coming together quickly! Flights are booked. I found a couple rail tours that will take us up north, and around the south, and leave us time to bum around Dublin. I also found an apartment on AirBNB that is right downtown for a really reasonable price!!! R has never traveled outside the country (Puerto Rico is close but not quite), and he was initially feeling a little nervous but since I've come up with a trip that involves no driving/car rental, with a decent amount of structure but free time as well, he's getting really excited. I'm slowly going to turn him into an expert world traveler :)

Now I need to get over this distraction and get back to school work!

Feeling Green

And orange, and white... I just booked our flights to Ireland for the beginning of September. Super excited!!!
We have no solid plans yet, but I'm hoping for some relaxing wandering, whisky tasting, sheep gazing, castle exploring, and leprechaun catching :P

Happy July!

The Summer is flying by a little too quickly but July is off to a good start. Friday was my official first day as an Associate Manager, although I've really taken over two countries completely already. Bwa ha ha, that last sentence sounds a bit evil. I'm 99% sure I'll be back in Rwanda next month. I could have gone at the end of the July but I would have missed 2 classes so I'm sending another staff member. I have a secret fantasy about going to Ireland on a layover but it depends on if we can use my miles to get R a free flight.

Spent the first few hours of my long weekend deep cleaning the house. Yes, I know, it's a little past Spring, oops! The living room and dining room and the stove are super clean! Now all I need to do is the rest of the kitchen, the bathroom and (shudder) the bedroom aka where all my papers, books, and travel stuff live. I hope to finish today but we'll see if my motivation sticks around.

Childhood Dreams Dashed

When I was much younger, I think probably 2nd grade, I started reading the American Girl books. Kirsten, Samantha, Molly, and Felicity. I even went to school with the girl who was the model for the Felicity books. I would have sold my little childhood soul for a Samantha, Felicity, or Molly doll. Molly was my favorite character but Samantha had the best clothes, Felicity had the coolest "match your doll" outfits. But, the dolls were $100 each with one outfit and my parents couldn't spring for that kind of toy. I always said I would buy my own when I had a job. Of course time went by, as it does, and despite my small doll collection I never fulfilled my American Doll wish.

Fast foward to today, a pop-up ad led me to check out the website in a moment of nostalgia. Kirsten, Samantha, and Felicity have been retired, you can't buy them anymore.

 



I hope that one day my daughter (if we have one), or perhaps my niece are enchanted by a story, by a special toy that would fulfill every childhood dream, if only for a year or so. I hope that they feel that magic, and perhaps I can help make that dream come true.

Unreasonably Excited

Finally time to Blog

Since returning from Rwanda, things have been a little hectic. I had to finish up a research paper, get a training prepared, attend a conference, and attend to all the post travel work for three trainings. Yikes!

The training in Rwanda went really well. The participants were really engaged and worked diligently. I taught them the Banana Dance during the teaching skills segment :) I think that they all thought it was silly but it got the point across. I was actually pretty proud of the changes I made to that portion of the training.

School starts again tomorrow... Sigh.

Secrets and Distractions

I had my annual review on Friday afternoon. It went really well.  Secret of the week: I'm getting promoted at work!!!! I'm not allowed to say anything until it's "officially" announced. So I can't post on Facebook because I'm friends with co-workers.

Associate Manager... it has a lovely ring to it :)


So I leave for Rwanda on Friday. I have to finish my paper, go to physical therapy, the chiropractor, work (where I have to get things set for two more trainings arrange for several thousands of pounds of books to be shipped to Tanzania), and pack. Ahhhhh!!!!

Ok, momentary freak out over. Time to stop being distracted and get back to work.

In Bloom

Spring has finally arrived in Chicago!

Opening paragraph

My Easter weekend, with lovely weather beckoning me outdoors, is instead being spent at the computer writing... Sigh.

Humans have found themselves in conflict, whether it be for resources, possessions, or ideals, since the beginning of time. The industrial revolution brought an increase in the speed and the volume of human interaction and thus conflict. The 20^th century saw a world in turmoil, with two world wars, and a worldwide political ideological battle exemplified by the nuclear arms race. Following the fall of the Soviet Union in the early 1990's, it seemed that the world could reach a new level of peace and prosperity. However, a lack of planning, direction, and collaboration, as well as an inability to coordinate with an increasingly complex network of nation states and non-state actors, led to what can easily be perceived as a failure of diplomacy and peace.  As the world continues to change at the dawn of the 21^st Century, it is clear that traditional diplomatic practices and ideals can no longer be applied across the board. It is at this crucial time that the United Nations must examine and modify current practices, so they can be an effective force not only for peace, but for equitable economic growth and social change in the years to come...

Now I just have to write 5-7 more pages describing how and why the UN needs to change. Whee!! 

United We Rise-Peop1e

Inspired by

I think it "officially" started in middle school, but really it was before that. I remember feeling strange and out of place as a child. I went to the guidance counselor in 3rd grade and I told her that I didn't have any real friends. She of course assured me that I had plenty of friends, I was fine. But I knew I was different.

Middle school was worse, everyone says that middle school is bad, but I was one of those kids that had it the worst. Mocked daily for my body, chewed up food thrown at me, notebooks stolen, rumors, lunch alone. I was mad at the world, and I didn't know why.

My grandma died freshman year of high school, that was another blow. I would cry a lot. I would eat until I threw up and then eat some more. I would stab myself with pins, I would hurt myself to make things better. I counted out a bottle of tylenol and cried because I couldn't swallow pills. It felt like drowning, and anger, and sorrow, and incredible pain.

In 10th grade, my Mom forced me to go see a counselor. It was a struggle, I hated her for it. I resisted. They started me on zoloft and it saved my life. Within a month I felt like myself again. I was still weird, and creative, and it was okay. I felt like me, the real me. The demon inside was... gone.

It wasn't always that easy. I struggled with meds adjustments, and I made a bad choice to stop taking my prescription freshman year of college. I still felt lost sometimes and I was afraid because things could fall apart so easily.

This tattoo of the chemical structure of serotonin, the chemical believed to regulate our moods, was inspired by that fight. To remind myself how bad things got and how far they've come, to remind myself to smile.

Playing Catch up

I feel like I spent all day playing catch up at after being out sick on Friday. There's just so much to do, and I feel like I'm responsible for so much more than I actually am. I want the program to succeed, so when I see people giving less than they should, or just not being able to do their part, I feel the need to take over. And so I keep adding on more and more responsibilities.

My co-worker was complaining the other day that she would quit if she wasn't given the promotion she deserves... honestly I'll feel cheated if she gets a promotion, or if we get the same promotion. She complains she's always busy, but she spend half of her day on the NY times website and the other half complaining about any extra work she has to do.

I know that no one has the same work ethic that they had 50 years ago, but I don't know where this feeling of entitlement came from. Like if you show up and just do your job, somehow you should be awarded, like doing the bare minimum today is somehow equal to above and beyond.

Gisenyi

The training location for advanced heme in May has been choosen, and I am excited!! Giseny, Rwanda is a town by lake Kivu, and is near the border of the DRC. Ok, so I'm not super excited to be near the DRC, but it is a resort town that is near the only brewery in Rwanda, some interesting nature preserves, and supposedly gorillas aren't too far away. It's also further away from Kigali than Rwamamgana was, which will suck for the meetings I need to go back and forth for, but I'm thinking it's going to be a great location.

Song of the Day

Michael Franti: Hey World (Don't Give Up)

Rough

It's hard to celebrate your success when you get emails from your partners telling you about life in a war zone. When they let you know that they are greatful for your thoughts and prayers, as they spend the day on their stomachs on the floor hoping that the bullets that are hitting the houses around them don't kill them, or their children. When others email you hoping that their family is okay as the borders are closed and they are stuck in the US. The only consolation is that the fight is for freedom. They are fighting against a dictator that defies the results of a democratic election and the scorn of the international community. They are fighting for freedom, for democracy, and they are being ignored as the world turns to Libya.

The battle in Libya is important, but let's not forget those struggling alone in Cote d'Ivoire... or the Congo, or Zimbabwe, or countless others struggling for the freedom so many take for granted.

If I believed in prayer I would ask you to pray for those who are suffering, fighting, hiding, but I believe that God or Karma, or Fate, or Mankind or that Undefinable Force helps those that help themselves, and more importantly others.

Please, keep those that suffer in your heart, and embrace the freedom that you have.  

Shoes!!

Best shoes ever arrived in the mail last week!

Awesome elephants, designed by a South African artist, and for each pair bought a pair is donated to children in the developing world. http://www.toms.com/

Home

As in, it's good to be back home in Chicago
Or, as in, I spent the week back home in Ohio with my family

It was a lovely visit :) I took some time off work during spring break to see the fam. My niece and nephew are growing so fast, I feel so guilty for not seeing them more often (of course I feel guilty for not seeing the whole family more often)

In honor of being home, and visiting home, and getting tickets  to Ray Lamontagne

Song of the Day

Margot and the Nuclear So and Sos
Quiet as a Mouse

12 Deadliest

Thus far in this series, Australia has the creepiest animals. Damn nature you scary!

I'm having a hard time not checking my work email right now, but I'm forcing myself to not sign on until at least Tuesday. Sigh. Stupid compulsive work ethic. Of course we are in the midst of grant season, so the stress is higher than usual. I was still revising Ethiopia's narrative on Friday, and formatting the budgets, but it's in someone else's hands now, so I need to just let it go.

Speaking of work, I will be traveling again in May. I'll be back in Rwanda for a little over a week, for a training and a meeting. I'm not sure where the training will be taking place, but it should be in a different city this time, so that'll be another adventure.

Time to relax and enjoy my week off.

Happiness Hit Me

Happy Spring Break to me!!!

Another quarter of grad school is done and I have a relaxing week off from school and work. I'll be snuggled up with Remy this weekend and then I'm off to Ohio to visit the fam, including my adorable niece and nephew.

Backbeats Landslide

This has beeen bringing tears to my eyes when I listen to it on my ipod in the morning

Margaritas, Cleaning, and Homework, Oh My!

Yup, my weekends are out of control :)

Friday night I went out with a few of my coworkers for Mexican food. It was a great evening because R and I got to go out with another couple, which we don't do a lot, and we were hanging out with people who do theatre, so that was a fun bonus. I also found out that R got his promotion at work which was a long time in the making! So we had a little celebration for that as well. I think that my body is getting used to eating healthier though, because the food made me sick. I had 1.5 margaritas, chips and salsa, and cheese and bean enchiladas with mole sauce and that had me throwing up at the restaurant. I think it was the enchiladas that did me in. So that wasn't too fun, but I felt fine afterwards, so I think it really was just my body not being happy with all the cheesy fried stuff, as opposed to the food being bad.

Yesterday I worked on our taxes and we did some house work. Smokey is in a shedding phase so there is cat hair everywhere! It's amazing how much better the place looks after a quick sweep and mop. I also put up some pictures from Tanzania in the living room. Yay, I love how homey our place is!

Today I'm doing more cleaning and some homework. We have our final group presentation for grad school on tuesday. I have some final touches to put on the powerpoint presentation and practice my portion. Woo, the quarter is almost over!

Via the Daily Squee

Big head and tiny body, so incredibly adorable!!!!

Healthy Nachos

Take and plate:
2 c. mixed baby greens
1 c. black beans heated with taco seasoning
10 blue corn with flax seed tortilla chips

Top with:
1/4 c. Fage non-fat plain yogurt
2 tbs. guacamole
1/4 c. Cheddar Galaxy Rice Shreds
4 tbs. Pico de gallo

Super Yummy, large plate of food, and under 500 calories!! I'd have a picture but I ate it too fast :)

Passing

I just found out today that someone I went to high school with lost her husband on friday. They were just married this summer. He was 28, and he died from a heart attack. I cannot imagine her pain.

Life is too short.

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.  Live your life in such a manner that when you die the world cries and you rejoice.  ~Indian Saying

We're all Stories in the End

New Doctor Who makes me so happy. I finally finished up season 5 today. Remy and I got it on the x-box as an early Valentines Day present to each other. Nerd power activate!!



Snow snow snow

Not just regular snow, but thundersnow!

Class was cancelled tonight and work was cancelled for tomorrow. I feel a bit like a little kid right now, huzzah for snowdays!!! Of course instead of shoveling and playing tomorrow, I will be in our cozy three flat, relaxing and being vaguely productive.

The power has been flickering a bit but I'm hoping that we don't lose it. They've been estimating that we're going to get 2 feet of snow.

Time to do the avoid-dance

I was avoiding doing homework by working on my long neglected wedding album, and I am now avoiding working on the wedding album by playing online. It's a vicious cycle, and I've made a mess in the living room with all my scrapbooking stuff. Sigh

It's been a year since I started grad school. It's funny that I just came to that realization today. I was picking classes for Spring quarter and trying to figure out how long it's going to take me to graduate. That was a little depressing, so I decided to ignore how long it takes and just keep moving forward one class at a time. I think I'm actually going to take an elective next quarter, perhaps Management of International NGO's or Urban and Community Development.

Home Again

Advanced Hem Training Group

After a wonderful and exhausting week in Rwanda I am happy to be back home. We arrived in Kigali on Saturday and headed to Rwamagana on Sunday. Rwanagama is a little town about an hour outside of Kigali. There isn't a lot going on there, there's a prison, a church, a nursing school, a hospital, assorted shops, and a couple hotels. The training went well, I even got to do some teaching myself.

We went out to Kigali on Saturday to do some sightseeing. We went shopping at some local stores, I got some stuff for myself and some Christmas presents (yes, I am awesome at shopping ahead of time). We went to the Genocide Memorial as well. It was really devastating. I cannot understand the evil that led to all that death and horror that the Tutsis and moderate Hutus went through. It was really good for me to experience the museum, and increase my understanding of the history of Rwanda, but I don't think that I could visit it again.

Journeying Again

I'm heading to Rwanda on Friday for my first solo work trip. A week in Rwamagana for an advanced hematology, should be an interesting experience!!

Flash back

Mmmm, watching Say Yes to the Dress, makes me want to be in wedding dresses. It's amazing how looking back you can forget how horrible trying dresses was. None of them fit. It was awkward, and depressing and demoralizing. But, there is something magical about wedding dresses. Here is what I wore and a couple other dresses that are super dreamy in case anyone is looking...

http://www.houseofbrides.com/allure-women-wedding-dress-style-w243-p-3-147-5373.aspx#

http://www.unique-vintage.com/unique-vintage-exclusive-white-floral-rhinestone-swing-dress-p-8901.html

http://www.unique-vintage.com/fancy-york-wedding-dresses1950s-style-cuff-short-sleeve-belted-length-wedding-dress-p-7323.html

http://www.romanticgowns.com/collection/product-page.asp?SKU=GB1003



Meeting

I may be closer to a promotion than I thought. I was called into the boss' office today and told that I am "kicking ass". I was also told that they would be pushing for a promotion and a raise when the time comes (you can only get promoted in July). So that's pretty cool. I just have to keep working myself until I feel like I'm going to fall apart, and then I'll make associate manager.

I leave in one week for my first solo training. It's in the middle of nowhere, which might be good and might be bad. The consultants seem awesome so I think that they'll make the training easier, but some of our in country partners are difficult so it could go either way. It makes me nervous but I look at it like acting, I have to act the part of the confident person and then I'll be confident.

Plans for 2011

Get a promotion and a raise: I deserve it
Be a better spouse: always want to work on this
Get through another year of school: tentative graduation... sometime in 2013
Lose some weight/be healthier: I won't aim for college weight, but for pre wedding weight
Get super flight status: I want to travel enough for work that I get special travel perks
Take more pictures: and print them
Take a vacation: europe perhaps?

Happy New Year!

I personally rang in the new year by sleeping. I know, I'm so cool. Thought I'd take a quick nap at 7 after delicious Chinese dinner, and then I woke up at 11am. Yikes!!!

Oh well, Cheers to a well rested start to the new year!