Opening paragraph

My Easter weekend, with lovely weather beckoning me outdoors, is instead being spent at the computer writing... Sigh.

Humans have found themselves in conflict, whether it be for resources, possessions, or ideals, since the beginning of time. The industrial revolution brought an increase in the speed and the volume of human interaction and thus conflict. The 20^th century saw a world in turmoil, with two world wars, and a worldwide political ideological battle exemplified by the nuclear arms race. Following the fall of the Soviet Union in the early 1990's, it seemed that the world could reach a new level of peace and prosperity. However, a lack of planning, direction, and collaboration, as well as an inability to coordinate with an increasingly complex network of nation states and non-state actors, led to what can easily be perceived as a failure of diplomacy and peace.  As the world continues to change at the dawn of the 21^st Century, it is clear that traditional diplomatic practices and ideals can no longer be applied across the board. It is at this crucial time that the United Nations must examine and modify current practices, so they can be an effective force not only for peace, but for equitable economic growth and social change in the years to come...

Now I just have to write 5-7 more pages describing how and why the UN needs to change. Whee!! 

United We Rise-Peop1e

Inspired by

I think it "officially" started in middle school, but really it was before that. I remember feeling strange and out of place as a child. I went to the guidance counselor in 3rd grade and I told her that I didn't have any real friends. She of course assured me that I had plenty of friends, I was fine. But I knew I was different.

Middle school was worse, everyone says that middle school is bad, but I was one of those kids that had it the worst. Mocked daily for my body, chewed up food thrown at me, notebooks stolen, rumors, lunch alone. I was mad at the world, and I didn't know why.

My grandma died freshman year of high school, that was another blow. I would cry a lot. I would eat until I threw up and then eat some more. I would stab myself with pins, I would hurt myself to make things better. I counted out a bottle of tylenol and cried because I couldn't swallow pills. It felt like drowning, and anger, and sorrow, and incredible pain.

In 10th grade, my Mom forced me to go see a counselor. It was a struggle, I hated her for it. I resisted. They started me on zoloft and it saved my life. Within a month I felt like myself again. I was still weird, and creative, and it was okay. I felt like me, the real me. The demon inside was... gone.

It wasn't always that easy. I struggled with meds adjustments, and I made a bad choice to stop taking my prescription freshman year of college. I still felt lost sometimes and I was afraid because things could fall apart so easily.

This tattoo of the chemical structure of serotonin, the chemical believed to regulate our moods, was inspired by that fight. To remind myself how bad things got and how far they've come, to remind myself to smile.

Playing Catch up

I feel like I spent all day playing catch up at after being out sick on Friday. There's just so much to do, and I feel like I'm responsible for so much more than I actually am. I want the program to succeed, so when I see people giving less than they should, or just not being able to do their part, I feel the need to take over. And so I keep adding on more and more responsibilities.

My co-worker was complaining the other day that she would quit if she wasn't given the promotion she deserves... honestly I'll feel cheated if she gets a promotion, or if we get the same promotion. She complains she's always busy, but she spend half of her day on the NY times website and the other half complaining about any extra work she has to do.

I know that no one has the same work ethic that they had 50 years ago, but I don't know where this feeling of entitlement came from. Like if you show up and just do your job, somehow you should be awarded, like doing the bare minimum today is somehow equal to above and beyond.

Gisenyi

The training location for advanced heme in May has been choosen, and I am excited!! Giseny, Rwanda is a town by lake Kivu, and is near the border of the DRC. Ok, so I'm not super excited to be near the DRC, but it is a resort town that is near the only brewery in Rwanda, some interesting nature preserves, and supposedly gorillas aren't too far away. It's also further away from Kigali than Rwamamgana was, which will suck for the meetings I need to go back and forth for, but I'm thinking it's going to be a great location.

Song of the Day

Michael Franti: Hey World (Don't Give Up)

Rough

It's hard to celebrate your success when you get emails from your partners telling you about life in a war zone. When they let you know that they are greatful for your thoughts and prayers, as they spend the day on their stomachs on the floor hoping that the bullets that are hitting the houses around them don't kill them, or their children. When others email you hoping that their family is okay as the borders are closed and they are stuck in the US. The only consolation is that the fight is for freedom. They are fighting against a dictator that defies the results of a democratic election and the scorn of the international community. They are fighting for freedom, for democracy, and they are being ignored as the world turns to Libya.

The battle in Libya is important, but let's not forget those struggling alone in Cote d'Ivoire... or the Congo, or Zimbabwe, or countless others struggling for the freedom so many take for granted.

If I believed in prayer I would ask you to pray for those who are suffering, fighting, hiding, but I believe that God or Karma, or Fate, or Mankind or that Undefinable Force helps those that help themselves, and more importantly others.

Please, keep those that suffer in your heart, and embrace the freedom that you have.